Last night, I stayed up until 5 AM sitting in the grass smoking cigarettes with someone I love, and someone I can see myself loving in the year to come.
And surprisingly: the late night and cigarettes were the best thing I have done for myself in a very long time. I get so caught up in my life, and what I think about it that I don't take time to realize what others think. It was so refreshing for my soul.
I feel like I'm part of something amazing in this world. I feel like I am someone special to everyone that I know. I feel like people love me. And for me that is such a great accomplishment, you don't even understand. I have spent so long in my life wanting to feel like I just fit somewhere. Now that I do, it feels like it really fits. It makes me not want to leave. It makes me want to grow up. It makes me want to be willing and open to love and new experiences, and just fucking life. And I am so thankful for that.
You have no idea how refreshing just hanging out with people can be.
And I would like to say, that I think this is the first 100% platonic 100% healthy relationship I have ever had with someone of the opposite sex.
It's kind of amazing. To be able to talk to a guy without getting the feeling that there is something more between you.
More on this as the days roll by.
In other news, I'm a big sister. :)